My life changed for the better when…

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How weird is this? My life changed for the better when my husband of 33 years hit me in the face. Not to belabor the details, but for years he’d falsely accused me of infidelity. Trying to constantly reassure him of the truth, when in his delusions, he believed differently made me exhausted. Second guessing his reactions and trying to avoid his lengthy silent treatments left me a shell of a person. The years of emotional abuse were bad, but when he hit me to get me to “confess,” and I knew it would only get worse as time went on, I left him.

My life almost immediately improved. I was able to breathe. I slept better. I began to taste food. My heart stopped racing. Better still, I began to think about what I wanted my life to be for myself. I no longer had to deny the basic parts of my essential self, which were practicing my spirituality and faith, spending time with my family and friends, and even acting on my generosity of spirit.

Now, I am discovering myself. I am surrounded by the love, support, and protection of my family and friends. I developing my relationship with God, and I found that He does answer prayers! Amazing! I am exploring areas of creative expression that take me out of my home to mingle with people. I have signed up for art classes, writers’ workshops, and Bible study. I volunteer.

This is what I have discovered about myself:
I like me.
I respect me.
I trust me

My life it isn’t a daily “walk in the park,” yet. But I have never doubted my decision to leave, nor have I regretted being on my own after half a lifetime of marriage. I don’t even regret trying so hard for so many years to make my marriage work. The struggles and tears I work through now are for my greater good, not of despair and frustration and helplessness. I am surfacing on the brighter side now, and my life is better because my husband hit me in the face.

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About Horton Hears Herself

Here I am, listening to myself for the first time in my life! I like what I am hearing, most of the time. This time of listening to myself, discovering myself, and learning how to have my dream life is a rocky path with surprises, good and bad.

One response »

  1. Thanks for being courageous enough to share this very personal story. I am proud to be your honorary sister and cherish our long time friendship. I find a new strength in myself when I look at you! I love you

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