Sorrow…

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I got this quote in my email this morning, “Sorrow makes us all children again, and destroys all differences of intellect.”  Apparently Ralph Waldo Emerson said that.  I didn’t know, but then I am not a reader of classical literature.  Ralph had it right, though. 

When I was crying every day, more times than I wished to count, I was like a child.  My younger brothers and sisters were the “grown ones.”  They cared for me, talked to me, listened, and coached.  It was odd, as I am significantly older than all of them, and used to being the caregiver.  Even my next-to-me brother who is nearly eight years younger signed off an email as “your big brother,” and I know he did this because he simply forgot he was younger than I.  He was giving me comfort.

My intellect seemed to be gone, as well.  I couldn’t read, because I couldn’t concentrate. I didn’t even feel the cold or heat of the weather.   I forgot things, and I have always had an incredible memory.  Looking back, that period is a blur. 

So now that I am no longer in a place of deep sorrow, I can see my intellect returning.  Thank God, I say to that!  Being an emotional and intellectual lump is not a state I appreciated or enjoyed.  Life is much better on the other side of the box of tissues, and I rejoice in each day’s opportunities.  I sort of liked being taken care of, though, and I don’t doubt for a minute that my siblings will continue to look after me.  It’s what we do for each other. 

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About Horton Hears Herself

Here I am, listening to myself for the first time in my life! I like what I am hearing, most of the time. This time of listening to myself, discovering myself, and learning how to have my dream life is a rocky path with surprises, good and bad.

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