I was half of a couple for 34 years. I could finish my husband’s sentences, anticipate his moods, and I expected to be able to reach out and hold his hand. When I began to envy widows, I knew that our couplehood was not that attractive to me anymore.
For the past year, I have been an add-on to some of my favorite couples. Being one more to a couple has been really interesting. Fortunately, the other female of the couples has been very welcoming and accepting of my presence…even protective.
Funny, my former spouse was so jealous and wary of any other man, and yet, the men of my favorite couples are two of my brothers-in-law, my brother, my father, my soul sisters’ husbands, my grandsons-in-law, my brother’s father-in-law. Please. How dangerous could I be?
Being the third to a couple has taught me what healthy relationships are. It has shown me the normalities of dealing with couple differences, and has taught me how to lessen my defenses. None of my favorite couples make mountains out of molehills, try to keep the other off balanace, or shun one another.
It has not been hard to be the third one, and for me for now, three is a magic number.