I went to a Life Coach so she could help me design my perfect life. She is a wonderful person, and we are still friends. One of her exercises was for me to think of 3 or 4 people that I love to be with, list adjectives or qualities that I like about them. Then she circled the common descriptors from all the lists, and said these attractive qualities in others were the qualities of my essential self.
My essential self…what an amazing concept! I remember someone asking me what I liked when I first came east. I was unable to answer the question. How could I identify my essential self, when I didn’t even know what I liked? Nevertheless, these are the characteristics that appeared from the lists:
Humor, generosity, devotion (which includes faith, protectiveness, and unconditional love), and intellect.
My coach’s instructions were that when these qualities go missing, I am to go looking for them, as they are the cornerstones of emotional stability in my life. Now, as I live daily, I notice these traits. They certainly are attractive to me when I see them in others I encounter. As I develop friendships, and nurture existing relationships, I am so aware of these qualities in others. Maybe there are more characteristics of my essential self yet untapped. Wouldn’t that be a surprise!