Chemically, the tears you shed are the same. But, I began thinking how very different tears really are. I should know. I have shed gallons of tears in the last year and a half. My first tears were in conjunction with racking sobs. They came on often and unexpectedly…at the show of kindnesses from others, a word, a melody, a smell, a thought or memory. There were times when I couldn’t get those tears to stop. One Sunday in church, I had to stand behind a pillar to get control, and then, the control was only fleeting.
Now, a year later, I can analyze that time and those types of tears. They were tears of raging sorrow, agony, and disbelief at the unfairness and ironies of life.
Time truly is the great healer. What a difference a year makes. The tears I now shed are quiet, gentle, soft, and very easy to control. Sometimes, the tears of now never leave my eyes. They may make my contact lenses swim, or even create a small sniffle. They are tears of gratitude and grace, and though less reactionary, they are just as heartfelt.
A very intuitive friend gave me a pocket pack of tissues. I carried them with me to the Easter Vigil. I used one.