Dear Former Spouse…


It was nice to see you at our grandson’s wedding.  I hope you were reassured when you were welcomed so warmly and honored as you were with preferrential seating and in the photo shoot.  I know my heart was touched by the love shown to me.  Since we were able to navigate that first face-to-face meeting with civility and without open hostility, it gives me hope for continued healing within the family.I

I was amazed that you spoke to me at your departure.  It was kind of you to comment sympathetically on my clear discomfort of the crook in my neck.  Funny that happened, but I have always carried my stress there, so no surprise those muscles locked.

I have to say, it took me aback that after that, the comments you chose to make to me regarded your observations on my greying hair and current hairstyle.  Don’t you find it interesting that after fifteen months, that was all you could think of to say to me?  A neutral comment of “nice to see you,” or “have a safe trip back,” or even “take care,”  would have been less biting.

I wonder if you noticed that I made no personal comment whatever to you.  I thought about going over to talk to you.  I thought about all the things I might say about weather, health, and even happiness.  It seemed too personal, though.

Still, we did it.  We saw each other.  The world didn’t stop, and it makes it better for everyone who cares about both of us.  Glad you came to the wedding.   Glad you spoke.  Glad that’s done.  And by the way, take care.




About Horton Hears Herself

Here I am, listening to myself for the first time in my life! I like what I am hearing, most of the time. This time of listening to myself, discovering myself, and learning how to have my dream life is a rocky path with surprises, good and bad.

2 responses »

  1. Deb,
    You couldn’t have hoped for more really. Now acceptance of different paths for each of you. Sounds like you both did the best you could, which was great in my opinion. So many break ups and remeetings turn ugly quickly and I’m proud of you both for the respect for each other that you were able to have. Let the hair comment go with the wind. It was the only thing he probably thought to say after not seeing you for so long. Men are different than we are.

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