The wedding band scar…


You know how your finger gets shrunken-in where you have worn a ring for a long time?  For me, that was my wedding ring scar.  I had worn my wedding band for 32 and-a-half years, only taking it off once when I broke my left wrist in the 90’s.   I only did that because the doctor refused to set my wrist with my ring on my finger… something about gangrene, which I was then willing to risk.

As I was flying east, away from my husband and marriage, I removed my wedding ring.  Then I felt naked and guilty and put it back on.   Later, upon my arrival at my brother’s house, I took it off again.  I put it on a chain and wore it around my neck for another day or two before I tucked it away forever in a pocket.

The scar was as much a reminder of my drastically changed life, as the ring had been of my married life and my commitment to my husband, who didn’t believe in me.   I tried to cover up my scar, at first, with another ring.  That didn’t feel right.  Then I just went bare fingered.  Every once in a while, I would look down, and notice the indented band mark on my left ring finger.  I would wonder when it would fill in, and remind myself that my wedding band scar was a result of three plus decades.   I really hoped it wouldn’t need three decades to disappear!

Today, while in my car, stopped at a red light, I glanced at my hand, and noticed that my finger was nearly uniform in circumference.  The shruken area was plumped up.  Low and behold!  “How long will it take for this scar to heal?” I asked my dear friend once.  She answered, “How long isn’t the point.  That it will heal is.”


About Horton Hears Herself

Here I am, listening to myself for the first time in my life! I like what I am hearing, most of the time. This time of listening to myself, discovering myself, and learning how to have my dream life is a rocky path with surprises, good and bad.

3 responses »

  1. That was a sweet story. I wish you all the best in your new life x Today the lady at the jewelery shop cut my wedding ring off and you story gives me hope everything will get better.

    • Lucy, it’s been over 4 years since I wrote that. Amazingly, this post is the most read of all I’ve written. Apparently, many of us need time for the wedding ring scar to plump up. Yet, it does. Everything does get better. My new life is peaceful and lovely and filled with many blessings. Yours will be, too. I’m wishing all of this for you, as well.

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