Tag Archives: former spouse

Three Weddings and Two Surgeries…


None of them were mine, thanks be to God, but that is how I have spent the last six weeks. I think we’re done for now, but it has been a heck of a ride.

The first wedding was in Sedona, Arizona. The backdrop was the red rock cliffs that two weeks later, sadly, were in engulfed in flames. This gathering was remarkable in that my former spouse and I sat next to each other, held hands, and laughed with each other the entire evening. It was a very bonding event for me with all the family, of which I was once near the center. Oh. The bride and groom were stunningly beautiful, and great happiness is surely in store for them.

The second wedding was in New York City. The backdrop of that wedding was a city rooftop, elegantly cosmopolitan, with waiters passing hors d’oeuvres, an open bar, and an international contingent of guests. My sisters and I had a blast, eating street food, ferrying around the Statue of Liberty, wandering around Times Square, tour-bussing all over Manhattan, subwaying to the night-before-dinner, taxiing to the venue, and walking in Central Park. The bride and groom were gorgeous, and great happiness is surely in store for them.

The third wedding was in Janesville, Wisconsin. The ceremony was in a church! The backdrop of the reception was Rotary Botanical Garden. The weather was perfect, and the flowers in the garden were at their springtime peak. All of us danced, laughed, glammed it up in the Photo Booth, and relished being together. The bride and groom were glowing, and, well, great happiness is surely in store for them.

Then there were the surgeries. One, I have previously mentioned. My niece broke both bones in her right leg just above the ankle while she was running around with her school children. She had several screws placed to bind the bones for mending. We learned that this is a fairly common fracture, and she is on the mend. The second surgery was for my sister. She broke a collarbone ten years ago, when she was run over by a horse, and it never mended. Her clavicle was repositioned, plated and screwed together, and bone was grafted into the union to stimulate bone growth. Her shoulder is now straight, and though she is slinged on her right side and is exhausted from anesthesia, she is recovering nicely.

Looking back, it seems like it was a lot of emotion, activity and excitement. In the midst of it, life just moved from one event to the next. The last six weeks of three weddings and two surgeries have been a metaphor to me of faith. Our lives really simply flow, and though we try to manipulate events to our desires, none of it is in our hands. Life is merely all about trust. Oh, and breath, too. I hope this thought helps me to be “belted in” for both the anticipated and the unknowns that are just around the corner.


There are miracles in the mundane…


So, it is summertime, and the livin’ is, well, you know.  Not much has been happening, and that is a pure blessing.  I used to pray for boredom, and I was serious.  When I taught, the average number of decisions I made in a day numbered in the thousands.  When I retired, I told people that I wanted my biggest decision of each day to be what color of sweat pants I would wear.

Then my life, as I knew it, fell to pieces, and that was definitely NOT boring.  I moved across country, built a new life with new friends and new activities.   I have been in full-blown “adventure mode” for four years or more, what with the falling apart and the falling together of my life.  Now, I seem to have gotten my groove back.  I didn’t think that would ever happen.

This summer, since I have been home from my extended stay in Wisconsin, I have been living easy.  What I have noticed are the small, ordinary miracles of my life.  They are not exciting, not extraordinary, not especially thrilling, but here they are…

An orange kitten who leaps into the air, vertically; a thunderstorm with driving rain; the church ladies coming to my tiny home for lunch; running into and chatting with two different neighbors on an early morning walk;  cutting Black-eyed Susans  for my house from my very own yard; spending the weekend at the lake, and joining a group of beautiful, brilliant, lively women for their book club discussion; talking with my sisters on the phone in the evening; volunteering;  penpal-ing with my left-behind grandchildren in Arizona;  mowing grass, planting flowers, and sitting on my deck with breakfast in the mornings; going to the library and reading books!; praying and answered prayers; talking with my former spouse on the phone, weekly; a puppy at my feet at nap time; nap time!; a bicycle ride; dinner out with the girls; playing BUNCO; yoga and weights at the Y; reading Magic Tree House books on his sofa with my little tutoring boy; spotting the first yellow and red maple leaf on the ground;  seeing my brother with his oldest son,  waiting for the bus on my nephew’s first day of high school; and all the miracles I am finding in my simple life.

They are actually pretty thrilling, after all.